Dating in thirties
As people age, they naturally grow less inclined to seek out relationships that are more casual. After you turn 33 or so, staying out past 10 on a school night becomes much more rare.) Also, as we age, the pool of eligible people shrinks, and with it so do the number of opportunities to meet people in the ways people met people in their twenties (well, before Tinder existed): through friends, at parties, at bars, at work, in grad school, wherever.
There's something really comforting to know that, in fact, there are actually tons of people out there who are age-appropriate and are looking for the same thing you are.
Tinder is "stupid and harmful because it only makes romantic human connection harder." It is also "a factory and you shouldn't pretend it's even vaguely romantic." And let's not forget that "the adult consequence of living with one’s decisions doesn’t really exist when the next best thing is only a swipe away."Most of the discussion around Tinder has focused on its core demographic: twentysomethings, gay and straight, in urban areas (New York and Los Angeles, where I live, are its two biggest markets), who seem to use Tinder to hook up, boost or masochistically deflate their ego, and/or issue sweeping, usually disparaging pronouncements about everyone they've ever encountered on it.
But I've now come to realize that even though all of the press around Tinder focuses on its popularity with twentysomethings, it's actually the perfect app for someone in their thirties, or older, to find love.
Now, I’m not suggesting we lower our standards but it’s important *if you are looking for a long-term relationship* to be realistic about what’s out there.
Nobody is perfect, yourself included, so expecting someone to have the full package is going to set you back a long way in your search for a happy ending. The beauty of opening your search is that you’ll be surprised at what you find and who you meet.
Relax and enjoy it – because one day you will be in that LTR you’ve spent so long looking for and dream of the days you were once footloose and fancy free.
Because believe it, the grass isn’t *always* greener on the other side.
So I do want to be clear that the mostly bad things people say about Tinder were also mostly true (and bad) for me for the year or so that I was on and off it.‘Expectations’ is a word I’ve used quite a lot in the past when talking about women in their thirties, who are dating, because they just seem to have so damn many of them.From expectations to height and income, the older women get the higher they want them to be.You don’t want to hear it, but, there are same basic rules of dating as a women, post thirty-five, that are worth following … Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing (give me Angelina Jolie over Emma Watson any day) but it does mean you need to be realistic about the kind of men you’re going for.
Because the bastard about life is, that most thirty-five-year-old men are looking for a very different thing to most thirty-five-year-old woman.To fall in love means you need to really know yourself, and be secure and happy enough that you want to share yourself with someone else, and to be vulnerable.